start with self
i always say self is the prerequisite. the prerequisite to what? well, to everything.
feeling: stuck, frustrated, resentful, unhappy, scattered, uncertain, overwhelmed, depleted, unfulfilled, meh... something else that’s getting you down…
start with self.
strengthen your self. know your self. listen to your self. discover your self. be with your self.
here are some signs that your self might need your attention.
i miss my old self.
i don’t feel like myself.
i’ve lost myself.
i feel like a shadow, a whisp of a self.
i feel invisible.
i’m surviving but not really thriving.
i’m ok, things are fine, but i’m not really thriving.
every day feels like ground hog day.
there’s no meaning in my day to day life.
my life is just kind of meh… blah… whatever.
i have no mojo for things that used to make me happy.
i’ve lost my direction or i have no direction.
i’m just kind of coasting.
i don’t really have a dream for myself.
i’m not sure what i need or what to do or what to focus on.
something has to give, something’s got to change.
i’m at the end of my rope.
i wish i had a magic wand.
i’m longing for things to be better.
i’m ready for things to shift.
i want this next chapter of life to be different.
i don’t know what i want.
i’ve lost the old me, but i am not sure who the new me is.
things are hard right now.
things are changing, i’m in the middle of a transition, and that’s hard.
i’ve been through a tough time, some big challenges, and now i just feel lost.
i’ve been knocked down and i don’t know how to get back up again.
somedays i just want to run away, or burn it all down.
i think i am ready to give up.
i feel stuck.
i’ve been struggling.
i’m just kind of languishing.
i’m just kind of trudging or plodding along.
life feels kind of stagnant.
i’m not sure i have a purpose.
i’d like my life to be a little better than this.
i’m finding the ups and downs of life hard right now.
there are things i want for myself, i just never seem to make progress.
i used to have big dreams and goals, what happened to that person?
my excuses get in the way of what i say i want.
i am often comparing myself to others, envious of others.
i feel resentful a lot of the time.
it all feels like too much. i think i'm a bit overwhelmed
i just feel so scatterbrained... like i'm all over the place, not fully present.
my brain feels foggy or overloaded, i'm mentally ‘done.’
i just feel depleted, i have no energy to do anything for myself.
i’m hiding or dimming or ignoring parts of my self.
i think i’ve been really hard on myself.
i wonder if i’m doing it wrong, i wonder if i’m the problem.
i keep thinking i have to fix myself or uplevel myself or make myself better somehow.
i’m trying to fix or control or manage other people to try to make things better.
i’ve been worrying about/taking care of everyone else, i’m not even sure what i need.
i’m in a season right now where my focus is on others rather than my own dreams/desires.
i don’t know how to show up for myself.
i find it really hard to prioritise myself.
i notice i’m always last on my own to do list.
i often feel like i'm not good enough or like i'm too much.
i feel like i can't ask for or go for what i want.
i've tried all sorts of self help tricks, mindset work, but i'm still stuck.
i want to do more for myself but it's really hard to overcome inertia.
i find it hard to put myself out there.
it feels selfish / i feel guilty / i'm not sure i deserve to focus on my self.
i don’t know who i am besides being a (parent or child or partner or profession).
i want to find myself or feel like me again.
i’m ready to write a new chapter for myself.
i long to feel more fulfilled.
i want life to have more meaning.
i have dreams and goals, i am ready to go after those now!
i don’t want to let fear or doubt or excuses get in the way anymore.
i would love to shift some of the old stories that hold me back.
i would really like to heal some of the things that i still struggle with.
i think i’m ready for my next step.
if any of these ring true... start with self. the way through is to spend a little time with you.
why does “self work” make a difference? when we are experiencing the kinds of things listed above – when we are struggling in any way – we are likely letting struggle determine what we do, how we feel, sometimes even who we are being. struggle decides. the key to getting unstuck is to let SELF decide. let self drive this bus called life. in order to do that we must strengthen our sense of self… we must know self. be self. do self.
self is the work of a lifetime. our identity is always shifting, recalibrating, expanding, or changing. but very few of us spend time doing any kind of self work or identity work, it’s not really something people talk about. but i promise you, it makes a huge difference… self is the starting point. when we strengthen the self we alleviate struggle. even if you have no idea how to practically, actually change your situation… even if it feels a bit hopeless or pointless or selfish or weird… give it a try. start with self.
the untethered workbook starts with self... that's the entire first section! full of ideas, insight, and exercises to strengthen your sense of self. i would love for you to check it out.
