how to JFDI (just fucking do it!)
yah but, it’s hard!
this is going to be your year! you know what you want, you know what you need to do... but it’s still so hard! what if you have no mojo… no motivation? what if consistency and doing the things every fucking day is just haaaaaard? (or boring!) what if you just can’t find the commitment or the focus? what if you are getting in your own way?
this episode is for you if you know what you need to do, now you just need to do it. (JFDI!)
transcript: how to JFDI (just fucking do it)
hey y’all. i am karen brandy. i am an author, teacher, healer and self coach… i help people with the self expansion and identity shift required to show up for our selves and for what we want for our selves in this next chapter of our life or our business. next level goals and dreams and strategies require stepping into our next level self!
but what if you have no mojo… no motivation. what if consistency and doing the things every fucking day is just haaaaaard (or boring!). what if you just can’t find the commitment or the focus. what if you are getting in your own way?
this episode is for you if you know what you need to do, you just need to do it. (JFDI!)
if you’ve been hearing about the energy of the new year, the year of the fire horse, and thinking: YES! this will be my year! i want you to consider one thing: what is different about WHO you are being this year, to make it so?
notice i did not ask about WHAT you are doing, or HOW you plan to make this year different. i asked about WHO YOU ARE BEING.
here’s something you may not know: 95% of what you do comes from your subconscious. and your subconscious runs off a program called your self-concept – in other words who you think you are determines almost all of what you do or not do.
so if you have been thinking somethings like: i know what i’ve got to do, i just need to do it! you might be thinking you have a mojo or motivation problem, a commitment or a consistency problem, maybe even a focus problem. i just need to do it already!
but what i want you to know is that identity might be the missing key. first you must become the one who is going to be the one to do it… you need to create the identity of who you want to be, in this chapter of your life. next chapter requires next level identity… next right steps, next strategies, next actions require next level identity.
have you ever felt like: i just need to get out of my own way! you can sense that there is something running the show, under the surface, and if you could just move that obstacle out of the way, you could do the things you know you’ve got to do next! that feeling of YOU being the one who is in your way is not actually about WHO YOU ARE BEING RIGHT NOW (who you are is not a problem. you aren’t doing it wrong!) the “you who is in the way” is quite simply and old story about who you are – old ideas of your self concept or of who you get to be – that is running the show.
another interesting thing about your brain is that it is lazy! it will simply keep repeating old stories! and brains don’t really love change or love anything new or different, so your brain will put the brakes on any thing you are trying to do that is not a match to the old identity story on repeat… your old stories are literally the thing in the way of you showing up in new ways.
the key to making 2026 “your year” – or rather to doing more of what you say you want to do in your life, in your business, for your self – is to ensure that you are BEING the one who will do the things… be your next level self. (i also sometimes call this your favourite self or future self… or even soul self… or sometimes CEO self as i think about who i need to be in my business.)
of course we go through identity shifts many times in a life time – through career or work shifts, relationship or family shifts (parenthood, divorce, empty nest, orphanhood), and personal shifts as well (spiritual, cultural, health related, gender or sexuality related) – but what i am most excited to share with you is the idea of purposefully, intentionally entering an identity shift of your own making.
i love identity work because it is holistic, it is compassionate, and it is intentional. we are not just trying desperately to fix our mindset, or push through procrastination, or overcome our resistance, or silence our inner critic, or change our vibration, or be more atomic with our habits. (damn, why is most self development work so mean with it’s language?) instead, an identity based approach to transformation is about honouring and allowing all of you to belong… it’s about writing new stories of who you get to be in this world… and it’s about congruence and coherence through all aspects of self.
the concept of embodiment is important here… it’s not about performing a way of being or acting as if, rather you act from a deep knowing, an understanding and claiming, that sinks into you at a cellular level, about WHO you are being. embodiment is putting that picture you have of your next level self into motion.
this is why a holistic, whole identity approach to transformation is so powerful… we seek identity integration and recalibration at multiple levels: mindset/thoughts/beliefs, emotions/feelings, energy/frequency, soul/spirituality, physical embodiment and physical spaces, voice/communication/self-expression, nervous system safety and capacity, subconscious stories and the struggling/resisting/wobbly parts of our self. who you are being becomes aligned and congruent in all of the ways you are being you.
identity work is not just about insight, it’s about action… yes, you must know self and be self, you also must DO self! so let’s explore some of the things that might help you take action!
mojo & motivation
i know this is a big one that many of us feel: we have no mojo, we have no motivation, so we're just not doing things we know we need to do (or we say we want to do.)
but the truth about mojo is you cannot wait for it to appear. it doesn't just magically show up, it's not discovered or uncovered or something that is somehow simply ignited in you, or not. mojo is actually something you create with your intentional action. action creates momentum, which creates motivation.
you need to take action in order to feel how you want to feel (vs waiting to feel good before taking action.) you make your own mojo when your actions mean something to you... actions rooted in who you are being, and why.
that is your new reframe, your new identity based idea of mojo... we're no longer waiting for it, and we're no longer using not having it as an excuse to not take action. we make our own mojo when we do the things that align with who we want to be... when we take action that meaningful.
start with knowing and claiming your next level self: who you want to be, how you want to feel, and what matters most to you. and then do the things that align with that identity, even if you don't feel like it. especially if you don't feel like it... that's the most important time to take identity aligned action. because that's how you wire and embed your next level identity.
it's an ongoing circle: identity informs action, and action embeds identity... with repetition & consistency.
our actions, either prove our identity or they don't. and part of that is shifting how we think about mojo... we're not waiting for mojo anymore, we are creating it by taking action, even when we don't feel like it.
consistency
consistency = doing something repeatedly, over and over again.
that can sometimes feel easy… especially if we're feeling ignited and excited. but of course we don't always feel that way! if our focus is on the thing we do, it's very easy to start feeling like we're failing at it... we start should-ing all over ourselves, we feel pressure, we judge ourselves. instead, let's put the focus on who we are being. it's not WHAT you do for yourself, it's THAT you do for yourself.
i recommend having lots of ways to be that person, to act from that identity. you need things that you can do on those shiny days when you're feeling ignited, and you've got the mojo and things feel aligned, and you're like: woohoo look at me, look at me doing all the things! but you also need a whole lot of ways to show up for yourself on the shit days.
consistency is not about being some ideal, best version of self... it's not a habit or a behaviour or even a result that has to be picture perfect. instead, we are choosing actions, activities, behaviours, and next steps that align with who we want to be, how we want to feel, and what matters most to us.
another way to think about consistency is about the grace you show for yourself consistently... on the shit days and the shiny days. i call it imperfect grace: grace for our imperfect selves, and imperfect grace in that we do grace imperfecftly! we notice when we get hard on ourselves and we adjust to have more grace.
i also like to think about consistency as creating rhythm... showing up for yourself through the ups and downs of life. it doesn't look the same every single day, every single week, every single month, every year. that's not the point, that's not the kind of consistency we're going for. if at the end of every day, you can say: i was me today, i was that version of myself today... that's consistency (no matter if the day was shit or shiny.)
think of your rhythm, your routines, as rituals of devotion to your self and to what you say you want for your self. like we previously explored with time, use the language: i am choosing to as a way to engage your agency. let’s face it, there are lots of things that we do consistently – let’s simply try to be more choosy with what those things are! you owe it to yourself to find and practice your new rhythm long enough to meet that version of you on the other side!
consistency is the proof your brain needs to recalibrate your identity. those small, repeated actions, thoughts, and feelings tell your nervous system that you are safe, and this is the new normal.
so consistency helps you create the sense of safety that your whole system needs in order to keep showing up for yourself... and once again, we've got a great little loop between identity and consistency back to identity again.
focus
for many of us, focus can be such a challenge. we get distracted, our attention gets divided, we get pulled in a million directions... we want to focus on the things that matter, but daily life has other plans!
what i want to encourage is to not judge yourself harshly for a lack of focus. do not beat yourself up if you're often focusing on the wrong things... or if you're like me and you have big ideas about what you want to do yet find yourself laying flat and doom scrolling!
self work is not about judgement or being hard on ourselves... it's about noticing. simply noticing: where does my attention go?
in any given moment at any time, thoughout your day or your week, pause and notice: where's my attention right now? and, is this thing i am focusing on right now a match for who i'm here to be? what i value? what i want for myself? what i'm choosing to prioritise? simply noticing, with kindness, is your job now: oh, right! look where my attention is right now!
the reason why we do this goes back to the brain. your brain learns to prioritise whatever you repeatedly pay attention to. so, if you want to change how you're showing up for yourself – if you want to change any actions or behaviours or patterns – you have to change where your attention goes.
notice where your attention is and when necessary, redirect your attention away from what no longer serves the person you are here to be… redirect your attention away from what you do not want to reinforce anymore. old stories, old patterns, old habits, old ways of showing up in the world… those things are wired in our subconscious.
and then direct your attention to what you DO want your brain to prioritise, because your brain is always asking: what is important? where your attention goes is the answer.
to recap: notice where your attention is and redirect it, intentionally. have grace for showing up imperfectly. and remember: it’s just your lazy brain repeating old stories, old patterns, old habits… the job now is to do the work of rewiring.
what you focus on is what fires, and wires, your brain. your focus is how you wire your chosen identity. so there's another loop: our focus becomes our identity and our identity directs our focus with our choices, with where our attention goes.
commitment
you can probably guess now, but the idea of commitment is not to one action or one habit, it's not even to one specific goal or a result… the commitment is to yourself. it's to who you are being, and how you want to feel, and what you say matters to you. your commitment is action in the direction of what matters to you.
and it's not the same as willpower. it's not how badly you want it or how hard you are trying. so again, release that judgement of yourself: i have no will power, i’m not trying hard enough, i suck at this because i say i want it, but i just can't do it… i just can't make it happen.
no more beating yourself up, instead hold your self up… hold space for all of the hard, for all of the struggle. to me, that's the best definition of commitment i have…. commitment is a container that is big enough to hold space for the struggle even while you are taking action in the direction of your next level self.
it's about holding space for the struggle, knowing it's not always going to be easy, you're not always going to feel ignited, you won't always have mojo, it's not always gonna flow. commitment is backing yourself anyways, with your actions, showing up even in the hard, especially in the hard. commitment is keeping a promise to your identity - to this version of you that you are ready to be.
the struggle
sometimes, we can think that stepping into our next level self is going to be amazing! isn’t that our purpose in this lifetime? to BE who we are here to be… to be our full expression of our self? surely to be congruent, to be aligned, to be ignited and expansive… that's going to feel so good! right?
some of the time (in fact a third of the time) it will be like that. this is the rule of thirds. a third of the time it's going to feel great – you’re going to be ignited, on fire: woohoo! i'm doing it! a third of the time it's going to be fucking hard. uncomfortable. like swimming through mud: well this is a bunch of bullshit! and a third of it's going to be okay, fine, meh, maybe even kind of boring: what do you mean i have to do that again today? and tomorrow? sigh.
and that's just what showing up for yourself is. a crappy day doesn't mean quit. it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. crappy days are part of the plan, boring days are too. build an acceptance of this rule of thirds and find a willingness to show up for yourself, even when it's crappy, even when it's boring.
a little trick that i like to remember is: it's not that deep. when you've got some doubts? yeah, that's normal. if you're feeling all kinds of resistance, you’re knee deep in struggletown? yeah, that's to be expected. feeling afraid, worried, overwhelmed? no big deal, it happens. don't give up, don't spiral, don't make it overly complicated. it's not that deep! it's just what happens when you show up for yourself. it doesn't have to be a big thing that you have to figure it out. keep going, keep showing up for yourself… good days happen too!
another thing i want you to remember is that you can be struggling and still moving forward. we don't have to wait to not be in the middle of struggletown anymore before we decide that we're going to take some steps forward for ourselves.
a lot of the time that we're showing up for ourselves – especially if we're moving outside of our comfort zone, especially if we're taking leaps into our next level self – parts of us are going to be activated, agitated… parts of us still working off of those old stories in your subconscious and trying so hard to help you (because there are no bad parts) that they protect you by keeping you safe, small, same, and stuck.
but now, from the strengthened sense of self that you are building, you get to be a wise compassionate guide to those parts of you, holding the vision of where you are going. you can let them be uncomfortable and know that you can handle the discomfort. and you can embrace and welcome every part of you - they get to be here, they just don't get to drive the bus. self gets to drive the bus.
that means we practise showing up, even in the middle of the struggle, especially in the middle of struggle (this is how we build trust in ourselves!) we don't give up on ourselves – we keep backing ourselves – and that might mean doing it scared, doing it depressed, doing it wobbly or crappy or imperfect or meh.
one more thing about feeling stuck… like we know what our next right move is – we know who we want to be, we know what we've got to do – and yet, there's still this feeling of: i can't do it. i’m trying but i just can't do it.
this may have to do with your nervous system: your state of being, your sense of safety.
our subconscious brain is going to resist when things feel new or dangerous or different. and our prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for our identity, will go offline if we're feeling unsafe. so then we can't really access that sense of our next level self, and can’t take our next right steps, if our nervous system is feeling activated and unsafe. we look around and we notice that we're still stuck! we have the insight, we know what we need to do, we know we just need to do it, and we notice we're not. we're still staying stuck.
so identity work also includes:
calibrating our nervous system to know that it's safe to be this version of ourselves
expanding the capacity of our nervous system to hold this new way of being this new way of showing up in the world
orienting ourselves towards the next right move that our system can handle
a fun fact is that our brain doesn’t know the difference between reality and imagination, so imagination is a perfect place to rehearse and practice our next right steps, rehearse handling any discomfort, practice how we want to feel and hold space for anything that feels new and weird, to remember what safety feels like and practice that feeling too.
the work you do to expand the capacity of your nervous system – to regulate feelings and experience safety in any ways that work for you – matters a lot to your future self!
3 ways to show up for your self
i would like to finish up with a picture of what showing up for yourself looks like. we talked about the rule of thirds (how it feels awesome, or crappy, or fine.) but there are also, i think, 3 ways we get to show up for our self.
one is the inner work. the way we KNOW self. (showing up for your self in your inner world)
knowing who you are being, holding the vision of where you are going
understanding your inner parts and the old stories they are working off of
self compassion, acceptance, grace
doing the work to heal your self… to be whole, to be held… and to lead your self, to become your own wise guide
writing new stories, new beliefs
some of this might be fun and interesting and playful and curious, and full of wonder! and some of it might feel pretty shitty! some of it might be really hard. some of it, you might need the support of someone else to help you do that work.
then there is outer work. i think of this as the way we DO self. (showing up for your self in your outer world)
setting boundaries, making decisions, prioritising – yes & no
managing time/energy/focus
habits and actions and behaviours
getting the work done, the jobs (home, biz, life)
again, some of these jobs are hard. some of these are super fun, and some feel better the more aligned we become. and some of this work is booooooring. like super boring.
then the third form of showing up for yourself is the bit that i think of as the soul’s work. this is the bit where you probably feel the most ignited! it’s all the miraculous beautiful ways you get to BE you… you get to be that full expression of self… and you feel in flow. maybe you feel a sense of fulfillment, maybe it feels like soul purpose stuff… this is the stuff we live for, the stuff that fills our buckets or ignites us like no other.
i call this soul’s work, it’s the way we BE self.
this work is the good stuff… even if some of it may be scary (but often in the best way) and some of it might feel fine (but still so so right).
i wanted to mention these 3 aspects to showing of your self to again remind you that not all of it is all ignited and shiny! and i know i am the one to says we’re here to shine like a lighthouse, but some of the work of being the lighthouse is tightening nuts and bolts and screws, clearing out dirty cobwebs… you know, doing mundane jobs, and doing some shit jobs. it all counts as showing up for yourself.
so if you find yourself in a period of feeling kind of meh about your path, or disillusioned with the vision you hold for yourself, or maybe even wondering: shouldn’t this be better than it is? have a think about the work you are doing to show up for yourself: it’s ok if it’s boring sometimes, and some of those mundane jobs just need to be done! see if you can change the story you are telling about what this kind of self-aligned work is! remember what you want, remember who you are being… and keep going!
signature move
now that we have explored this idea of knowing first who you are here to be and then choosing identity aligned actions… this is the final question i will leave you with…
what is your next right step… your meaningful move?
as you think about your next level self, what is one action, one behaviour, your next level self would do, without question. something this version of self simply does automatically. choose one move, make it non negotiable, and repeat (even when it’s hard) until it’s automatic. make this action or step your signature move… a specific characteristic action associated with your next level self, that becomes proof of your identity.
if you could say this one thing every day: i was me today. how will you know? what is your signature move?
i have created a worksheet to help you explore identity aligned action… so you can JFDI.
you can grab that from the show notes at karenbrandy.com/explore. and for more, you might like to check out my new workbook: untethered. it’s all about strengthening your sense of self and exploring your inner struggle so that you can get unstuck and do more of what you want for your self. the workbook is perfect for those who are self directed and like to learn and explore on their own.
if you prefer further support and guidance, i offer that too – i always say that you are the hero of your own story, but every hero needs a sidekick! i would love to be yours.
find both the untethered workbook and ways to work with me at karenbrandy.com
i would also love to hear from you… what is your best trick for showing up for your self even when you don’t feel like it, even when it’s boring, even when you are still kinda struggling. how to you JFDI?
in closing
i wish to acknowledge the Kaurna people, the traditional owners of the land on which i live, write, create, and teach… i also acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which you join me from.
i also wish to acknowledge that while i love to share from a variety of perspectives and therapies (including positive psychology, ACT, IFS, neuroscience, mindful self-compassion) i am not a therapist, nor an expert… i simply wish to share information and ideas that may offer insight and inspiration that YOU can use to lead your self out of stuckness and into the life you want for your self.
i also acknowledge my own privilege. whilst i am learning to lead myself through struggle i also have time, money, and support to do this work and that affords me the capacity that others may not have. some struggles will not be alleviated by self-help alone. my aim is to simply offer some new perspectives that might help shift things for you internally, no matter what further steps you decide to take.
thank you for joining me in this exploration of mojo, consistency, commitment, and focus. we’ve covered a lot today, i hope it helps you to JFDI!
until next time, keep shining.