know your 3 strengths
self is the prerequisite to self leadership.
this first step is to learn you. anything you do to know your SELF, to honour or explore or embrace who you are – is going to help you feel empowered in your life, in fact it IS the power in your life… self is the prerequisite.
know that you have a self, you ARE a self. a whole, unbroken, flawed, brilliant self. your inner self, true self, real self, soul self.
this is the YOU that is just for you.
the best place to start is with your strengths… the number one way to strengthen your sense of self is to use your strengths!
strengths are the things you are good at - your gifts, talents, abilities - they are what comes naturally to you.
but do be careful! sometimes we can focus on our strengths as being something we do, offer, or provide (especially in relation to our work or to the roles we play). we do it because we are good at it and other people think we are good at it.
consider this instead: Marcus Buckingham says a strength is something that makes you feel strengthened.
so: a strength not just what you are good at – or what others think is good about you - but instead a strength is what is good for you to be doing because it strengthens you.
in other words, a strength is not what you do for others but rather what it does for you to be doing it.
think about it like a superhero story… the superheros each utilise their specific gifts, whatever they are, and doing so is what makes them strong, it’s what makes them super. so if strengths are superpowers, using one’s strengths makes you feel strong like a superhero.
know your 3 top strengths!
try exploring:
what activities make you feel like a superhero: invincible, unstoppable, bulletproof… strong, steady, secure, stable, substantial
consider your so-called weaknesses – a strength is often found on the other side of that coin, a strength that we sometimes forget we have! also: remember that a weakness is not something that is wrong with you, it’s just something that doesn’t strengthen you to use, perhaps it even drains you to use.
ask people what they consider to be your top 3 strengths – not to go with what others think is good about you, but rather because sometimes we don’t see our gifts clearly.
try doing:
a strengths test such as the VIA character strengths test or Richard step strengths test
or simply look at the VIA strengths descriptions and circle the ones that strengthen YOU to do them
and remember, whatever the tests or other people tell you, check in with your self. does doing this thing strengthen you?
try noticing:
how often do i use my strengths?
how can i add more of my strengths to my day to day life? (to my work, hobbies, home, relationships)
when i get to use my strengths do i feel more like me?
when i am feeling stuck, lost, languishing, or ‘ugh’ in some way, does using my strengths make a difference?
what do my strengths look like in action? i.e. what are the activities, behaviours, actions, habits that allow me to use these strengths?