know your 1 desire
self is the prerequisite to self leadership.
this first step is to learn you. anything you do to know your SELF, to honour or explore or embrace who you are – is going to help you feel empowered in your life, in fact it IS the power in your life… self is the prerequisite.
know that you have a self, you ARE a self. a whole, unbroken, flawed, brilliant self. your inner self, true self, real self, soul self.
this is the YOU that is just for you.
to know your self, know what i call your 3-2-1 : your 3 strengths , your 2 values, and your 1 desire.
desires are what you want for yourself – your goals, dreams, intentions, wishes, longings.
(because language matters, choose the word for this that suits you or your particular situation best. i.e. you don’t have to call it a desire!)
do be careful: we often think of desires as what we want to do or have or achieve, and this is certainly helpful in many areas of life. but as we consider how we strengthen our sense of self it’s not just about what we do but rather who we are.
consider this: james clear suggests rather than focusing on goals we instead ask: what type of person do i want to be? “every action we take is a vote for the type of person you wish to be, for that particular version of your story.”
ask: what kind of person do i want to be? and why?
your desire is what helps you to cultivate your sense self. like a gardner, you nurture and grow your sense of self by nurturing your desires.
i think this question is helpful in that it also incorporates our strengths and values; the kind of person you wish to be is also going to be a person who uses their strengths and lives by their values.
we might not always know where we are going but we can still get clear on who we are here to be.
try exploring:
ask yourself: who do i want to be? how do i want to feel? what do i want for my SELF?
you might explore the biggest dream you have for yourself, your most secret desire, your most immediate desire, your long term dream.
contrast. if it’s hard to decide ‘who i want to be’ try ‘what i definitely don’t want is’ – describe that first, then consider what you do want instead.
do: sum up your one desire in a statement… the kind of person i wish to be is _____.