but, what if?
lovey,
i know you are struggling with some “what if?” worries.
what hapens if i get depressed again?
what if i lose my mojo?
what if i can't make this dream happen?
what if it all falls apart, again?
what if i fail at this and look flakey/disappear again.
what if i try and no one cares?
what if...
but i think the story you've been telling yourself about how you handled things in the past isn't quite right. you think that when you were struggling with depression, grief, and loss before that you sucked at everything... that you didn't show up, didn't do anything for your business, didn’t try at all... that you disappeared.
but please look back at that time with fresh eyes and think about everything you did do!
you wrote 3 books when you were depressed. you researched and studied and developed a framework to help you get unstuck. you kept showing up and sharing your story with vulnerability and authenticity and that connected with people. and you spent your time with intention... learning, exploring, healing, and growing.
so you may have been struggling, but you weren't any of those other things... flakey, absent, or a failure. who you were then was exactly enough... brilliant exactly as you were.
its time to rewrite that old story about your capacity to shine even if you're struggling with depression.
another thing i'd like you to remember is that who you are now isn't who you were then. you have strengthened and empowered your sense of self. and your capacity now to navigate whatever comes next is so different to what it was then. so how about having a little bit of faith and trust in yourself right now!
not only that, but your future self - who may indeed experience depression again, or any other kind of hard thing - doesn't even exist yet! don't give up on her when you haven't even met her yet. have faith and trust in that future version of you and everything she will have in her tool belt to manage anything that comes next.
how will she manage? well, that's classified. it's not your job to know that right now. it's your job right now to have absolute faith and trust in the self that you have strengthened and empowered to handle anything that comes your way.
one last thing... how about making a list of all the other what ifs?
what if it's awesome?
what if this biz is actually WHY you can do it depressed or handle any other hard thing?
what if this is exactly what you are meant to do and where you are meant to be?
what if it all unfolds exactly in the way it's supposed to.
faith and trust baby... faith and trust.
love,
your favorite self