depression

lovey, 

you've been thinking about your depression the wrong way.

you've been thinking that you're either ignited or depressed. 

you've been thinking that you miss those periods where you were ignited and so desperately want to have that again. 

and you are thinking that you just want this on and off depression to be over once and for all. 

but depression isn't on and off switch. it is not about being either ignited or depressed... that thinking is not quite right. 

the word depress means to press down, to lower, to reduce the level or value or strength or amount.

to be ignited isn't the absence of all depression. to be ignited is the presence or strength of all of the various things that ignite you. 

instead of thinking you have just one on and off switch, think of it more like a spectrum... a whole panel of levels or dials that represent all of the things that ignite you.

what are those things for you, in particular? 

strengths, values, desires, purpose, direction, drive, sevice, self, spirit, physical health, emotional health, mental health.... make a list. 

it is true that your depression depresses - lowers - those dials... so what can you do to raise those levels of what ignites you back up again?

what if you could nudge any one of them up, even just a little tiny bit? what would that be like?

brainstorm. make a list. (i know you like lists). even if all you do today is remember the whole spectrum of the different ways to feel ignited... remembering is enough remind you that depression isn't the only one who has access to those dials. 

raise 'em up.

from,

your favourite self